Wait Upon God

Sarah bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him (Gen. 21:2).

The counsel of the Lord standeth forever, the thoughts of His heart to all generations” (Psalm 33:11).

But we must be prepared to wait God’s time. God has His set times. It is not for us to know them; indeed, we cannot know them; we must wait for them.

If God had told Abraham in Haran that he must wait for thirty years until he pressed the promised child to his bosom, his heart would have failed him. So, in gracious love, the length of the weary years was hidden, and only as they were nearly spent, and there were only a few more months to wait, God told him that “according to the time of life, Sarah shall have a son.” (Gen. 18:14). The set time came at last; and then the laughter that filled the patriarch’s home made the aged pair forget the long and weary vigil.

Take heart, waiting one, thou waitest for One who cannot disappoint thee; and who will not be five minutes behind the appointed moment: ere long “your sorrow shall be turned into joy.”

Ah, happy soul, when God makes thee laugh! Then sorrow and crying shall flee away forever, as darkness before the dawn.
–Selected

It is not for us who are passengers, to meddle with the chart and with the compass. Let that all-skilled Pilot alone with His own work.
–Hall

“Some things cannot be done in a day. God does not make a sunset glory in a moment, but for days may be massing the mist out of which He builds His palaces beautiful in the west.”

Some glorious morn–but when? Ah, who shall say?
The steepest mountain will become a plain,
And the parched land be satisfied with rain.
The gates of brass all broken; iron bars,
Transfigured, form a ladder to the stars.
Rough places plain, and crooked ways all straight,
For him who with a patient heart can wait.
These things shall be on God’s appointed day:
It may not be tomorrow–yet it may.

This answers the question that I’ve always asked when I was waiting for my baby. Why doesn’t God give me a definite answer of when? If He does, then I would just wait patiently and stop questioning. But if He really did, this human heart of mine would have failed me, God was really being gracious to me. 💜

Flutters, twitches, whatever you call them!

I felt movement at my lower abs today! It would be 11 weeks and 7 days today and I read that some mummies feel the baby’s movement as early as 12 weeks. Could it be? They felt so wonderful!
Can’t wait to go for my 2nd check-up this sat and see my lil one again!

http://bible.com/116/isa.40.31.nlt But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

http://bible.com/116/isa.41.10.nlt Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Ouch!

A strong sensation of pain shook me up in the middle of the night and I couldn’t really tell where the pain came from, was it the uterus or the stomach?

I sat in the toilet and the pain was so strong that my back and shoulders felt numb, I have never experienced such intense pain in my life!

However, I started to feel better after I passed some wind and within 15min, the pain had vanished but I noticed there was some spotting. Fear of another ectopic pregnancy engulfed me.

I had gone to work cos I felt ok and wanted to monitor for some time but the light spotting continued till the evening when I decided not to take anymore chances and went to NUH A&E. I felt that since my last case of ectopic pregnancy was with them, I had better go back to them. Wish I had gone to KKH instead cos I waited about 2.5hrs before I could see a gynae who could give me an ultrasound scan.

The scan brought me much joy amd relief as it showed a tiny gestational sac of 5 weeks inside my womb and not in my tubes! It was still too small to see anything else but I was contented. 1 possibility eliminated. Waited for another 1hr 45 min to get my progesterone jab and pills before I departed.

Could it be?

So it turns out that my menstruation is late by a couple of days and I did not have the courage to take out the hpt for fear of yet another disappointment when it turns out that it is just late and I am not pregnant.

But I had to do it eventually as I was flying off with the family for a short holiday over the Christmas holiday and I’ve been yearning for a massage. And so I took the test and the result came out almost immediately.

I couldn’t believe my eyes and my heart cried out to God in thanksgiving and praise! Shared the news with the hb and we were overwhelmed with joy and disbelief. This is probably the best Christmas gift that we have ever received.

The short trip with our family was fun and enjoyable, I skipped the massage totally and went for a bodyscrub instead. Didn’t want to let the rest know too early in case there are any issues and amount to explanations and disappointments again.

Beyond Your Imagination

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (NLT) -Deuteronomy 31:8
The ups and downs in life bring beauty in unforeseen ways. There are life events that batter us down. However, your faith can determine the outcome. It’s easy to stay beaten in a lonely place by focusing on yourself as a victim. Or, you can overcome this and recover by placing your faith in God. Even more, you can come out a better person and excel beyond your imagination. Remember, God has the power to make things we can’t see appear. It just takes a little faith.
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The whole world is having babies, again.

I have been seeing FB posts of friends having babies or being pregnant these few weeks. The thought of “Why not me?” floods my mind constantly.

Why God? Why not me?

So envious of people having their own children to care for and fuss over and I have none.

When God? When will it be my turn?

I need a break from work and just escape from it all. All the work and things that demand my attention and causing stress.

Oh Lord, please deliver me.

The Lord is Good

The Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him. (NLT) -Nahum 1:7
Our God provides us with a shelter to protect us from life’s troubles. The question is whether we accept his protection. When you run into a wall or trip over hurdles, it’s easy to feel defeated. If you travel through life with God, He will most definitely give you strength to overcome them and peace to enjoy it. Have you talked to God lately about the troubles you are facing?
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Will Last Forever

Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love. -1 Corinthians 13:13
The greatest of these may be love, but don’t underestimate the power of hope. When we are in our deepest depths of despair, it is hope that keeps us going when it’s hard to get out of bed. Have you lost sight of our hope? Our hope is everlasting. Our hope is full of grace. Our hope is in Christ Jesus.
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I had my first review with Prof Wong since the ectopic pregnancy and he briefed me on the natural and medicated FET.  I got to have at least 3 cycles of menstruation before I can start. Was quite surprised to know that a med FET at NUH is 6 weeks long.

Anyway, I told him I wasn’t ready and that I am considering taking time off from work to focus on this when I eventually am. Am glad to hear that the rate of deterioration of eggs at my age is not too sharp so I can still afford to wait a little I guess.   

I’m still hopeful that I may eventually conceive naturally or through IVF if the Lord wills. So don’t give up, be hopeful!